My journey as an unpaid carer by Morag Rafferty
In 2019, I moved mum to Wales to live around the corner from me. Her memory was slowly affecting her quality of life and carers were thin on the ground in the rural community that she lived in. Since then, I have stepped in as an unpaid carer for my mum at different times, depending on illness, appointments and carers’ availability. Shortly after moving in, mum finally received her ‘mixed Dementia’ diagnosis. She doesn’t remember that she has it, of course, and why would she? This is a person who lives in the moment. She’s entertained by her chatty carers or reads about archaeological findings, historical periods of interest or a Patricia Cornwall thriller.
Me
I’m a teacher, supporting neurodiverse students at university. I also have neurodivergence/s: this is relevant as organising my own life, using everyday particular strategies and monitoring my behaviour is doable, but initially having to manage another person’s life as well was really challenging, until 2023 when mum’s new carers stepped in.
At times, juggling work as a teacher, my health issues and the caring responsibilities within two homes felt too much, but I’m lucky that my husband, my friends, mum’s carers, my work and my mum have been really supportive. More importantly, all the carers that have come in to support mum, have been awesome. These days I tend to do the shopping for, and with her. My mum feels supported and safe with the carers that come in and because of that I feel I can step back a little, be more like a daughter and drop in for a cuppa, or take her out.
Others aren’t so lucky.